Full Moon

So it is a full moon tonight, and I am officially claiming that a full moon has cosmic capabilities and the power to mess with you life. Cell phone thing? Chances of that are what, roughly one in a million? Had a horrific nightmare last night, but not before hearing about the death of someone I knew in high school. Generally one of the weirdest days in a long time. By the time it was over and I was eating my feelings, I felt like it was almost time for a breakdown, but I managed to avoid that. And everyone tells me that whatever is going on is because of the full moon, so now all I'm waiting for is to turn into a werewolf.

Between a rock and a hard place

My cell phone is conveniently located in the least accessible place on the planet. Black hole status, literally. It is between a bench and a wall. The bench is attached to the wall, with a handy slot right behind it that goes very deep. Further, the bench is not at all movable, nor does is have any detachable parts to it. AND I can't see my phone because there is another part of the building blocking it from view but I know it is there because it lights up when called and I can see its reflection in the tape I was using to try and fish it out. I tried FOREVER to get it out and did not succeed. I have no idea what to do. I tried the following objects to get it out: broom with duct tape, cane with duct tape (both ends), fly swatter with clear packing tape, fly swatter attached to yard stick and clear tape. I have not recovered my cell phone yet. Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated, as I would hate to get a new phone when I know exactly where mine is.

Someone please...

Explain these to me. I have seen now two pairs of them within a two week period and I do not understand them. At all. I get the concept, make it so your heel gets less impacted while you walk, but they look horribly uncomfortable. People that I have seen wearing them look ridiculously wobbly and not to mention HIDEOUS. These are almost as bad as Crocs. What happened to attractive shoes? Just because shoes are comfortable or good for your feet does not mean they have to look like something I threw up. Hello, Dansko? Simple? Not the ugliest shoes on the planet. Madness!!

Skin is In

In a season where shorts and skirts are the preferred bottom for most people, I am beginning to wonder at what point do you decide that you can no longer where shorts and skirts that hit above the knee. I mean, at what point does the condition of a persons legs mean they can no longer where revealing clothing. I understand there are those out there that say "who cares, this is what I look like and I don't care what anybody thinks," which is fantastic, power to ya. But then you see those women out there who have got to be 70 years old, and they have shorts on and there legs are wrinkled and saggy and generally very unattractive. Can you say that is borderline offensive? Is it comparable to severely obese people in bikini's? My mother, who is in her 60's now, hasn't worn shorts in years, and I have never seen her in a two piece bathing suit. Is that shyness or just common moderation? And what about 13 year olds that are wearing shorts that could pass as underwear? At what length is appropriate for what age?